Love happens .. Believe me it does

Not to get all sappy on you as we near valentine’s day, but i’ve been thinking lately about how people express love. not the mushy-gushy romantic love, necessarily. but friendship, respect, admiration, or just general ‘like’. There are five different ways that people give, and accept, love. the five “love languages” are:
1. words of affirmation,
2. quality time,
3. receiving gifts,
4. acts of service,
5. physical touch.


Every person has a primary love language. this means that they feel love most when it is shared with them in this particular language. think about how you can apply this in every one of your relationships (direct report, significant other, friend, neighbor, customer, etc). her primary love language is gifts? bring her a key chain from your trip to the grand canyon and the gesture will mean the world to her. take out her garbage (act of service), and she may not acknowledge the gesture. In my case, She expects nothing but love from me .. i love her more than i could express in words
however- sometimes we express love in OUR primary language; not theirs. this can lead to misunderstandings and conflict, because people are not necessarily ‘hearing’ the love that you’re giving.
for example, say your mom’s primary love language is quality time. this means that she really values the time that you two spend together (cooking, jogging, watching movies), and sees those experiences as a declaration of your love for her. however- if you are not aware that her primary love language is quality time, you may think that sending her a card on her birthday shows her that you love her. but in all actuality, she would have felt it so much more if you showed up at her doorstep on her birthday. she would have heard that expression of love loud and clear.


what your primary love language? and do you make yourself aware of those of the people around you? answering these questions is a helpful exercise. it strengthens the method of communication between two people, and helps ensure that the ‘love’ that’s being given, is also received.